I like to walk places. I really do. If it's under 30 minutes I usually walk. Or under 2 miles. I don’t like walking more than two miles. 2 miles should take you 30 minutes. So when I got out of the airport I started walking. The thing is you can’t tell people you’re walking because they get all sore. They think you’re broke or something. Those phonies don’t understand that sometimes people like to walk. So I don’t tell them I’m walking until I already started walking. Alexa said she’d grab me from the airport but I started walking anyway. The walk was a lot farther than I thought, and there was no sidewalk coming out of the airport. Sometimes I like it when there’s no sidewalk. It makes me feel like the people who made that road didn’t account for me. Like I’m the crazy person they never thought would dare to walk her. Anyway it was a lot farther than I thought. So what I thought I’d do, I’d ask her to meet me somewhere along the way. I noticed a BBQ sign on the other side of the freeway. I thought maybe I’d check off one of my Texas do to list. I texted Alexa and told her I’d eat there first. When I got there I realized it was closed. I texted her to meet me at the shell station close by. While I waited I walked inside. Maybe a Texas shell station had special Texas things they don’t have in California shell stations. As far as I could tell they’re the same. When the car finally pulled up I knew it was them because it was the only Tesla that passed by. Wealthy people are always friends with wealthy people. But that worked for me. Whoever drives a Tesla probably has a pretty nice place, and that worked just fine for me. Turns out it was her boyfriend's car. His name was Alex. Alex and Alexa. What a bunch of phonies. I tell you what those two were about the two biggest phonies in Texas. I guess you shouldn’t call people phonies who let you use their guest bedroom, but I tell you what they just near bored me to death. When we were driving into their neighborhood the sun was setting and the sky was an amazing shade of pink. I said something about it and they said yeah it does that sometimes. I can’t stand people who don’t care about the sunset. When we got inside I said I wanted to go watch the sky a little longer. The color was all gone when I got out there but it was a nice evening so I stayed out for a few minutes. I was looking out on this neighborhood and I started thinking about this girl Saz Dotson from back home. I swear I’m crazy. Whenever I go places I think about what I would do if I lived there. I looked out on these houses and pretended one of them was mine. Except this girl Saz was living there with me. Her name’s Sara but she makes everyone call her Saz. Anyway, it didn’t sound half bad in my mind, living out there. I thought I’d probably put up some of those string lights in my backyard and sit out there shooting the shit in on the warm nights. I don’t know, I’d probably get bored eventually but maybe it wouldn’t be a bad place to live. But I think that about everywhere I go, I swear I’m crazy. I went back inside and asked Alex what he liked about life and he said he went on a camping trip last year and really liked that. When he said “last year” I just about threw up. But they offered to give me a ride in the morning, so maybe they’re just the nicest phonies I’ve ever met.
That night I spent some time working out some plan for the next day. What I figured I’d do was I’d get breakfast with my friend early in the morning. You see he was coming to the airport to pick up his wife, and Alexa lives real close to the airport. Then after that I figured I’d wander around the city and maybe see some of the things phony people like to see and get a cocktail or something. I thought I’d sleep real well that night, after a day of traveling and all. So I took a shower and got in bed rather early. Early for me. Thing I forgot was the time change. It was mad early for me. I swear I laid in that bed for about nine days just staring at the ceiling. The thing is I didn’t mind too much. You see, before I went to bed I read a book from the hallway bookshelf called “Think Like a Monk”. I like monks so I figured I’d give it a try. Most of those types of books phonies read, all you really have to do is read the introduction. That gives you all the important information, the stuff the author really wants you to know. So I gave that a read. The thing is it sounded a lot like a book I read about living like this guy Jesus from Christianity, except he was talking about his monk named Gita or something, and the writing was real lousy. Anyway, it got me thinking about being a monk and being all zen all the time and meditating. So that seemed to make me more calm than when I usually can’t sleep. I swear all I did was think about breathing. You see this monk guy kept talking about breathing and how essential it was. I think he used that work, “essential”. Thinking about breathing can really calm you down if I’m telling the truth. The thing is, about five days later I started getting all warm. It was real warm in that room. So I had to keep adjusting my blanket arrangements. If I’m being honest I was also thinking about Saz Dotson. She’s just about the cutest girl I ever met. She’s the kind of girl who does that thing where she raises one of her shoulders like she’s hiding behind it and smiles when you say something she likes. I shot her a text at one point, thinking maybe she was up. She’s usually up. But I never ask if she’s up. Girls hate it when you ask if they’re up. So I tell her I’m up, and that usually does ok. Except that night she wasn’t up. That or she didn’t see it, because I didn’t get any response. After a while I fell asleep anyway, but the thing is I had this awful dream. In the dream Saz got shot by a police officer in the crossfire of a hostile situation. I was watching her bleed out all over the damn sidewalk and everything. I guess I must have stabilized the bleeding because next thing I know I’m trying to get her to the hospital so they can patch her up. Except I can’t for the life of me find a ride to the hospital. Why I didn’t drive her myself is beyond me. You never do what makes sense in a dream. Then what happened, and I swear to god this what happened, I started driving a cup of water all the way to the hospital. Like the kind of water you get when you ask for one at Starbucks. So I get to the hospital but by then I’m crying so hard I can’t see straight. I swear I only cry when I’m dreaming. There’s something wrong with me if I’m telling the truth.
Just about then my alarm goes off. It’s about 2am in the morning and I gotta get up to meet my old friend for breakfast. I swear that was about the last thing in the world I wanted to do after such an awful dream, but I figured a walk would be good for me. And besides, it was about 19 hours until Saz woke up and I could give her a ring, because of the time difference and all. I told my friend I’d meet them at the Waffle House down the street. I’d wanted to go to a Waffle House since I saw it in some movie years ago. That and it was another one of those things on the Texas check list I mentioned. And it was only about a mile from Alexa’s place, so I figured this time I could actually make it. By the time I got there my old friend was already there. His name is Marco and we met back when I was at Biola University. Turns out the guy moved out to Austin after school and started working at a church. Pretty soon he got married and went and got her pregnant. Now Marco will be a dad in November. Marco and I were never that close. Sure I might have shot one or two of his bogus short films, but I never wanted to if you want to know the truth. But a friend is a friend. The farther away you get from the place you met someone, the better it feels to see them. Sometimes a familiar face is enough, if you know what I mean. I paid about 13 bucks for the food. It wasn't too bad. I got a black coffee because sometimes I drink coffee now. I'll be honest, I like the taste. Sometimes I swear it doesn't even do anything. I just like the taste. After we shot the shit for a couple hours and talked about every movie that had come out in the last 80 years, I said goodbye and started walking back. He told me to tell him when I got on the bus tonight. Said he was starting to act like a dad already. Something about making sure I was safe. I really appreciated it if I'm being honest. Something about it made me sad as hell though. I walked back the same way I came along the interstate. Not the best for walking I'll admit, but it wasn't too long of a walk. Just less than one mile.
When I got back to the house Alex was sitting on the couch, doing some phony work on his laptop. I made sure to give him some commentary about the food at Waffle House. Phonies love it when you give them commentary on the food. That's all phonies like to talk about, food and the weather. Then I went upstairs to figure out my plan for the rest of the day. Boy I had no idea what I wanted to do. The more I looked online the sadder I got about leaving Austin so soon. But the last thing I wanted to do was come stay with Alexa and Alex again. Not because there's anything wrong with them, I promise. Just because the thing about phonies is that it makes you sad as hell being around them. You always feel like they hate you or something, because they don't seem all too happy around you. The thing is they're not all too happy around anyone. Anyway, I didn't want to have to come back and stay there another night. So what I figured I'd do was, I'd go take my bag to one of those places where you leave your bag in a locker or something for the day, and come back and get it later. Then I paid about 12 bucks for a metro bike pass. I'll be honest I was pretty jazzed about the bike pass. Then I figured I'd just have about the best day I could while I was in Austin, and get on one of those buses they have in the middle of the night. It was either that or stay another night in a hotel or something, and that idea just about depressed the hell out of me.
So I asked Alex if he'd give me a ride into town in about a half an hour. He said he could, he said he didn't have anything scheduled for the rest of the day. That about killed me. It was only about 11am in the morning and he had nothing else to do. Then I figured I'd give old Saz Dotson a buzz. I figured she'd be awake by now. The thing is I wasn't all that depressed about the dream as I was when I woke up. Almost like I didn't need to talk to her anymore. I wanted to, but I didn't need to, if that makes any sense. So I gave her a buzz. She was still in bed. She's always in bed. I swear you'd think she had some sort of condition, like there was something wrong with her. It's not that she's always sleeping though, she just likes laying in her bed. So I told her about the damn dream I had, and that made me feel a little better. After that I got a little advice on what I should wear that day. I only had about two whole outfits for the whole week. Girls love it when you ask for advice on what you should wear. I made sure to keep it brief, mostly because I wanted to make sure I didn't spend the whole day sitting there on the phone.
Alex took me into town in his Tesla. Boy I tell you that Tesla looked brand new. He said he got it about three years ago, said he keeps it clean and all. Phonies are always trying to keep their cars clean. He said he doesn't get a lot of foot traffic in the back. That just about killed me. Sounds like a lousy way to say you don't have a whole lot of friends. Anyway, we shot the shit for a couple minutes about video games and such. I can usually keep a conversation going if I really want to, even if I don't care too much about the conversation. I know a little bit about everything, I really do. I kept looking out the window though. I always do this thing when I'm in a new place where I can't stop looking out the damn window. Like I don't want to forget what it looks like in a place. Like I want to make sure I get a good mental picture. I'm crazy, I swear I am. Then the car did this really strange thing where it tried to turn for him. The middle of a goddamn intersection even. These cars got a lot of fancy features, but they still go ahead and try to kill you every now and then. I just about got out of the car right then. He said don't worry about it, he said it was the programming. That just made me think about some evil scientist in a lab somewhere programming the car to kill people. Thing is I stopped caring pretty quick about the whole thing.
I forgot to tell you, the place we were going was the place I was gonna leave my bag at. I figured I'd leave it there until it closed at 7pm, and then hop on the 9pm bus. I had a smaller bag I was gonna put my essentials in so I didn't have to worry about nothing. I'm pretty good at that, carrying just the essentials. We got to the spot and right away I felt a little nervous. The part of town it was in wasn't exactly the most attractive neighborhood. Then I find out it's not a place with lockers or anything. It's just a plain old dry cleaner. I gave the guy my bag and he just about threw it in the corner of the store. Then he went and said they closed at 5pm today. I said it said 7pm on the website. He said yeah but it was 5pm that day. I figured there was nothing I could do at that point, although I was a little heated if I'm being honest. It was better than carrying the bag around all day after all. So I paid the guy about eight bucks and got the hell out of there.
Then I walked about six blocks to the nearest metro bike station. I swear they had about a million of those stations all around the city. When I got there I found a bike pretty easy. I figured I'd ride it to a coffee shop a couple blocks away. It was still early enough to get a coffee, and I could use the energy if I'm being honest. I was still pretty tired from getting about 30 minutes of sleep that night. I felt like a phony just about as soon as I got on that bike. If there's one thing I hate it's when a person thinks they look real cool, when they don't look very cool at all. That's just about the saddest thing in the world. If I'm being honest I didn't feel all too cool on that bike. But it sure did beat walking I'll tell you that.
A buddy of mine recommended I stop by this coffee shop. I always got buddies recommending I stop by places. Usually I don't care much for it, but that day I kind of liked it. The thing is, as soon as I got inside I didn't really see what all the fuss was about. The spot didn't have what I would call a cool ambience. The thing was the whole reason my buddy recommended the spot was for the coffee. I don't drink coffee all that much. I know I said I got a coffee that morning, but sometimes I don't much feel like a coffee. I swear I'm crazy. But then I saw they had a couple specials on the menu, and one of them was a matcha. I love matcha more than just about anything in the world. This one was called the flower power matcha because it had some lavender in it. Girls are always trying to put lavender in things. My mom was always putting lavender in pillows when I was a kid. You'd lay down on the couch and get a big hit of lavender in your face. She would even lay it around the house, like a cookie for Santa or something. Except no one ever came to take it or nothing. Anyway I just about got bored to death of lavender. The thing is now I sort of like it again. I swear I only start liking things years later. I asked the guy at the counter if they could make the matcha iced, and with oat milk. I hate being one of those phonies who asks for a special milk in their drink. It honestly makes me sad as hell asking for a different milk. But if I'm telling the truth it makes me feel better than the normal milks, so I don't care too much.
I figured I'd have a seat for a minute and catch my breath. I sat next to this girl using a laptop. I asked her if I could use the outlet next to her laptop charger. I figured I could use a bit of a charge for my phone. She had a photo editing program on her computer so I asked if she was a photographer. Pretty dumb question if I'm being honest. Not a lot of people who aren't photographers would be using a photography program on their computer. I don't know what I was thinking asking a question like that. She said she was and I said that was cool, and then I got the hell out of her hair. Drinking that matcha makes me think about old Saz Dotson's kid sister Suzy. Suzy loves the stuff. She's always making her own matcha at home. She's the kind of girl who doesn't say a word to you if she doesn't know you. But then if she likes talking to you she'll practically talk your ear off about the most boring stuff in the world. I tell you what if you ask her about her matcha she'll go on for about four years about the stuff. But I wasn't really doing anything at the time so I figured I'd text her about the matcha I was drinking. After all, it was a really good matcha. She got back to me real quick and asked where I got it. I hate telling people where I am when they don't already know. It makes me feel like I'm showing off or something. The thing is people never know where I am because I don't usually tell anybody what I'm up to. So I texted her back that I was at a place in Austin, and she said she was jealous. That just about depressed the hell out of me. But the thing is I know she doesn't care. Girls are always telling you they're jealous when they're not. And she was just in Austin a couple weeks ago, so if she really wanted to go there she could have when she had the chance. Anyway, I took a leak and got the hell out of there.
The next thing I figured I'd do was see about this thrift store across the street. I go crazy for a good thrift store. I don't even buy anything half the time, I just like to try on the funny hats and sunglasses. I'm crazy, I swear. The spot across the street was closed for another hour so I figured I'd come back later. There was a spot up the hill a little bit that was a vintage clothing store. Those aren't exactly the same as a thrift store, but they usually have their fair share of funny hats and sunglasses, so I figured I'd go see about that store. I hopped on another bike to go head up the hill. I passed by a park on the hill but when I got closer I saw it wasn't a park at all but a cemetary. I thought about old Saz Dotson for about the thousandth time, she's always asking me to walk around a cemetary with her. One thing you gotta know about old Saz is she's got this crazy obsession with dead people. Or skeletons. I don't exactly know to be honest with you. She's got all these skeletons around her house. But not like a witch or nothing I swear. She's just not scared of them, if that makes sense. Anyway this cemetery looked like one she would have liked to walk in. I almost walked in it by myself, just to tell her I did, but the thought of doing that alone made me sad as hell. So I just kept biking up that hill.
Finding the vintage store was actually real difficult. I swear they always hide vintage stores so they're harder to find. I just about had to ask for directions because it was so hard to find, but then I noticed the sign for it on the street. The thing about vintage clothes stores is that it's all clothes for girls. They usually have about two mens shirts in the whole store, and about a thousand dresses. I don't mind it too much, you'd have to be a millionaire to afford the clothes in a vintage store, so it's not like I'm trying anything on. There was a table in the middle with a bunch of rocks on it. But not like normal looking rocks. These rocks looked fake as hell. And they all had little cards next to them with the fake made-up names of all the rocks. It made me depressed as hell thinking about someone buying a rock. That's just about the biggest scam I ever heard. I looked around at the clothes for a second or two. If you're someone like me, vintage clothes can look pretty cool. I kept thinking about me and old Saz Dotson wearing some old clothes like we were going to some party in the past. I'm always thinking about going to a party. The thing is I never go to those types of parties where you wear clothes from the past. I found the sunglasses by the counter. There weren't all that many of them and they were about the girliest sunglasses I ever saw, but I tried them on anyway. There was some guy at the counter talking the cashier's ear off. Sometimes it bothers me when a guy can't tell when a girl is bored out of her mind talking to him. He said his name was Christian and he kept going on about some park he was trying to make in his front yard. He said all the parks around here are where people do meth in, so he wanted to make a park for all the kids in his neighborhood. I don't even know if the guy had his own kids. The whole thing made me depressed as hell. Why would you want to make a public park in your front yard? That sounds like a plan you'd come up with if you didn't have any friends, I'm just saying. The poor cashier kept listening to him go on and on, because that's what she's paid to do. Luckily some older woman came up with a question and damn near saved the girl’s life. I suppose I could have saved the girl myself but I really wasn't thinking too much about it. I was still thinking about that stupid park idea. I wondered if you need to get special permission to have a park in your front yard. I thought about whether I would go to that park if I was a kid. The thing is I don't know if I would.
When I was looking for another bike to get on with my day, I passed by some food trucks in this little park. It was just about the strangest thing I ever saw. It looked like something out of a zombie movie, where the last humans created a little colony in a park, and they went and put a fence all around it and built a little common area in the middle. And they all lived in RVs or something in the park. Except here instead of RVs they were all food trucks. I swear I've never seen anything like it. I wasn't even that hungry, but I remembered another thing on my Texas checklist was one of these food trucks. Everyone you talk to when you bring up Texas says they have just about the best tacos in the world, so I figured I'd at least get one while I was here. The only food truck open was this one called Cosmic Tacos. They had all these little aliens all over the truck. I asked the guy what the most popular ones were, and he was having a real difficult time telling me. Almost like he was saying they're all the most popular ones. That bothers the hell out of me, when people say everything is the most popular one. It doesn't sound very likely to me when I hear that. So I figured I'd get a breakfast one and a normal one and call it a day. I wasn't trying to waste too much of my day in this food truck park. The tacos were good but nothing to write home about if I'm being honest. I get that you should try more than one taco truck to get a real perspective on a region's quality of tacos, but like I said I'm not trying to waste any time. I took a leak in an outhouse and took off on one of those bikes I was telling you about.
What I figured I'd do next was go see about this ice cream place on the other side of town. This place was another recommendation, but I didn't mind it too much because I love ice cream and it was getting pretty hot outside by now. I rode across on 11th street or something, then went down Red River. I passed by some bars I recognized from some research I did about good bars in town. I figured maybe I'd ride by and maybe come back later. Then I took a left turn on 7th street, only I didn't realize these streets are one way, and I was going the wrong way. So I turned around in the middle of the road like a crazy person. The thing about riding a bike is that you can basically get away with murder on one of those things. It's pretty dangerous if you don't feel too comfortable on a bike. Then I took a turn on 6th street instead and that was the right direction. I don't know what it was but the streets were pretty empty downtown. Which was good for me because I was looking all over looking at the different shops. I swear sometimes I don't look where I'm going on those bikes. I passed by some people doing a tour of the city or something, and I remembered seeing that in my research of stuff to do in Austin if you're broke. I must have been feeling pretty good because I started talking to myself out loud on the bike. I was doing this stupid bit where I was telling no one in particular about how you can't just read about a place, you have to actually go. I was waving my hands around talking to the empty street about how when you go to a place then you actually know about the place. Boy I must have been feeling pretty good.
I finally got to the ice cream spot after about a hundred blocks, but I had to backtrack a little to find a place to dock the damn bike. I ended up finding a spot on the other side of this little shopping mall. In the mall was an REI store and I thought I'd stop in. You know, because I'm such an outdoorsman and all. Not to mention I happen to be a member, and because I was a little curious about what people get up to in a place like Texas. I walked in there and started looking around. The air conditioning felt pretty good. I don't even know what I was looking for. REI is always trying to sell you things you don't need. I saw a frisbee and thought about old Saz Dotson again. We were always talking about getting a frisbee sometime to throw around. I swear we're just about the most boring people in the world, talking about getting a frisbee. I overheard one of those REI employees talking to a customer about buying stuff for rock climbing. I did a little spying like I always do when people talk about rock climbing. I'm something of a pro at the sport if I'm being honest. I was having a hard time figuring out if this employee woman knew her stuff about rock climbing or not. After a minute I said I knew a thing or two about the stuff if they needed any help. Not to be mean or anything, just to help. The guy said he was going that weekend with a friend who knows his stuff and we wanted to learn a little and maybe look prepared. Why anyone would want to do that is beyond me. He should have been talking to his friend, not this REI employee, but no one asks for my opinion. Then the woman said that she knows all about the stuff but can't tell him how to do anything in case he falls and dies and gets mad at REI or something. That was about the stupidest thing I ever heard. In my opinion she could tell him how to use some of the gear without telling him exactly what he needs to do. Or have me tell him for goodness sake. What's he gonna do, get mad at me? But like I said no one asks for my opinion. I walked away because usually I do that when people don't want my help. I saw some other kids talking about rock climbing and it made me start to think that there might be rock climbing in Austin. I should have at least asked them to make sure. I like talking to people about that stuff, I really do. Then the woman from before came up to me and asked if I needed help, and I said no, and she went ahead and told me again that she knows a lot about the stuff but can't tell anyone about it. That was just the strangest thing I ever heard. Why you'd tell people you know something but that you're not allowed to tell them is beyond me. I decided to get the hell out of there. The air conditioning was nice though.
I walked over to this ice cream shop. It was called Amy's and it's supposed to be the best in town or whatever. There was about one customer in there when I walked in. The guy scooping the ice cream was singing along to this song on the radio like he was auditioning for American Idol or something. He must have been having the best day of his life or something. I asked for a sample of the flavor that had vodka in it. Not because I'm an alcoholic or anything, just because I was curious. That and none of the other flavors sounded all that interesting to me. It wasn't bad, either. I tried one more flavor but ended up getting a cup of that vodka ice cream. It really wasn't half bad. The guy working there was having such a great day he did that thing where instead of picking something up normally, you throw it in the air and catch it. So he threw the cup in the air and caught it, singing the whole time. Then what he did was scoop the ice cream, but then he threw the scoop in the air, over his shoulder even, and caught it in the cup. He must have been having some day. I gave him about 5 bucks for the ice cream and asked what the song was he was singing. I always try to say something to guys working places, especially if they're having a great day. The thing was he didn't know what the band was who was singing the song. And here I thought he must have been some big fan. He had to go back and look at the computer or something to tell me.
When I was walking back to where I left my bike I saw I had missed a call from my old friend Bryan Larason. Bryan was an old friend from back when I worked at Aputure. Bryan was always calling me to check in. But when I told him I was going to be in Austin he wanted me to say hi to some guy he wanted to work with at Aputure. Like for marketing or whatever. So anyway, when he called me he said that he was going to connect me with this guy and I could go say hi or whatever. I don't even know why I said I would do it. I figured I was doing a favor for an old friend. Save him a trip to Austin. Plus it made me feel like a mercenary, and I imagined I had just gotten some contract to go kill some guy for him. And I figured I had some time. The guy's company I was supposed to go see was about 30 minutes north of the city, so Bryan said I could get an Uber and he'd pay me back. The only thing was if I did it I wouldn't be back before 5pm, so I'd have to get my bag before that. While I was waiting for his guy to tell me when I should come visit I figured I'd just get on with my day and not think about it.
So what I did was I got back on a bike and headed down to this park on the other side of the Colorado River. There was this great walking path all around the river that crossed over the bridges. When I got to the path I was just about having the best day ever. It was warm enough that I even took my shirt off riding that bike on the walking path. I felt like one of those annoying people who run with their shirt off, but I didn't much care because I was having such a great time. Then I figured I'd give old Saz Dotson a buzz. I figured I'd surprise her by doing a video call while I was riding the bike. I figured she'd get a kick out of that. The bikes have these little phone holders for doing directions or whatever. So I put the phone there and gave her a buzz. She picked up pretty quick. As a matter of fact she was in bed again. I swear she's always in bed. We shot the shit for a little bit while I biked around. Boy was I having a great time. I kept stopping about every two seconds to look at the view. Then I passed over the river on a bridge that was just about the coolest thing I'd seen all day.
When I got to the park I wasn't all that impressed. Earlier I figured I'd go take a nap at the park if I ever got tired, but when I got there it didn't look like the kind of park I'd want to take a nap at. It's hard to find a park you really want to take a nap at. Plus I wasn't all that tired. I saw some guys working at the park setting up this big old stage with all sorts of lights. I figured maybe there was a concert there later that day. I headed back down the walking path talking to old Saz Dotson. I kept seeing people in little boats and paddle boards on the river and got jealous as hell. Getting on the water is just about one of my favorite things to do. I kept thinking about bringing all my friends here and getting those crumby inflatable tubes and just floating down the river. Then I started to feel super lonely all of a sudden. I stopped at this little park bench on the side of the walking path. I said goodbye to old Saz Dotson, partly because my phone was losing battery quick, and because I thought maybe I'd go for a swim. I took off my socks and shoes and just kinda stood in the water. It really wasn't that deep. It wasn't all that clean either, but it was pretty clear. Like you could see the bottom but you could also see a bunch of stuff floating around. There were these little fish in there that kept coming up to my feet and bumping into me. I think they might have been biting me or something, but it's hard to tell with their little fish mouths. I thought for a while about if I really wanted to go all the way into the water. The thing is I made a stupid deal with myself when I was a kid that I always have to go all the way in. So I jumped all the way in real quick and then got out. I'm not gonna lie, it felt really nice. The water wasn't warm by any means but it felt really nice. I was worried it would be hard to dry off because of the humidity, but it wasn't all that bad.
After that I kept riding my bike around the river. There was a smaller river that connected to the bigger river, and I was riding up that smaller river. There was a bridge going over the smaller river and it had one of those signs on it that said no jumping off the bridge. I figured it was a good idea because I didn't know how deep the water was. Just about on cue this girl walks by me like she's gonna jump off the bridge. She looks at me and asks if I was at the roller skating rink yesterday. I asked her if she meant a roller skating rink here in Austin, and she said yeah. I understand how dumb of a question that was, but I was getting all confused because I was roller skating recently but it was almost a week ago and in a different state altogether, so like I said I was all confused. Anyway I told her no I wasn't. She said I looked like someone she saw the other day. Then she and some guy jumped off the bridge and they didn't die so I guess it's not as dangerous as I thought. Something can still be dangerous though even if no one dies.
Then I made it to this other park and parked my bike. There was this spot that had these park tables, but they weren't the normal wood ones. They were these stone ones and they were about 20 feet long. It looks like something you'd see in one of those medieval time movies at a big feast or something. I thought about how cool it would be to have a dinner party at one of those tables. I could get all my friends together and have a feast. And then I thought about that guy from the vintage store and his park, and how maybe I could have my own park, but instead of a park where you play in, it's a park where everyone can come eat at this giant table. All the kids in the neighborhood can come eat together. I thought that would be pretty cool. I was starting to feel like I might be getting sun burns, so I tried to stay out of the sun for a minute. I tried to think of what I wanted to do next, but I couldn't much think of anything. I saw a bunch of people walking toward one part of the park and they looked like they were going swimming. I remembered hearing there was a place to swim in the park so I figured I'd check it out.
I grabbed another bike and rode down this hill towards where everyone was going. There was this swimming hole that looked like someone put sidewalks on both sides of a river. It looked really strange. Like a half pool half river. It looked like something I saw in this movie called Tree of Life, and thought for a long time if that movie took place in Austin. I couldn't remember. I figured I'd go in and sit by the water for a while and watch the people swim, but it cost money to get in, and I didn't want to spend the dough. So I sat up on the hill and looked through the fence, but after a little while I felt like some creep so I left. It looks like a fun place to swim though. For about the millionth time I thought about old Saz Dotson and how maybe she'd like this place, the swimming hole. Or maybe she shouldn't care for it but she'd come with me and we could waste the rest of the day here. I walked across the parking lot to sit under some trees. Just me and the squirrels. Boy was I getting tired. I sat there and thought about how much fun I'd had so far. I'm not gonna sound crazy and say it was one of the best days of my life, but it sure was up there. It's funny how easy it is to have such a fun day in Austin, especially with the bikes. I think biking is a lot more fun than driving. And there's all sorts of stuff to do close to the city. Then I thought about what it would be like to live here. I thought about that a couple times that day. I figured there was nothing stopping me from having the best day ever every day. At least until I ran out of money. And then I could get a part time job or something to make enough dough to eat or whatever. I had no idea where I would live or anything, but boy that would be fun. I figured maybe I'd park my car somewhere and sleep there. I don't know. I'm crazy, sometimes I think about being homeless. Just for a little while at least. I checked my email for about the hundredth time since Bryan called me. I had an email from this guy Michael, I guess he was the one I was supposed to meet. He said I could come by before 5pm. It was about 3pm then, so I figured I could go grab my bag and get an uber and be there by 4pm.
I got back on my bike and this time I put in the directions on my phone, just because I didn't want to waste too much time finding the right way to go. It took me mostly by the river again, which I didn't mind, and then up into downtown. Eventually I got back to the dry cleaners. I checked the uber app and it wasn't letting me change my email so I downloaded Lyft which I usually use. By now I was starting to get a little nervous about being late. I don't know why because I had plenty of time to kill. Sometimes I make myself more nervous than I need to be, but sometimes it makes my life feel a little more exciting. I don't know what I'm doing most of the time. I went inside and grabbed my bag from the guy. He was eating tacos at the table. I thought about asking him where he got them but it wouldn't have mattered. I was going to do anything with that information anyway. Plus I had left my bike outside. I was starting to think I might have sunburns.
I headed to the nearest bike station. When I got there I ordered the Lyft to pick me up there. Then I dug out a change of clothes from my bag to put on so I'd look a little less homeless when I met this Michael guy. I actually had a pretty nice shirt that I put on. I made sure to send a picture to old Saz Dotson. Girls love it when you send them pictures of your outfits. When the lyft got there I asked for a phone charger. My phone was almost dead if I'm telling the truth. I kind of thought about what I was going to say to this Micheal guy. I really wanted to do a good job for Bryan, help him out ya know. I thought again about how dumb this was. To be honest I don't even work for the company. I had to remind myself I was doing him a favor. I also thought about how much more I had to do today. It was still about seven hours until my bus took off, and I was already getting tired. I tried my best to take a nap in the back of that lyft but it didn't really work.
This guy Michael worked for a company called Sisu that makes these crazy robotic arms that you put cameras on. They used some of Aputure's lights at a trade show last week and Bryan wanted to know where he got them from, and how Aputure could help them out in the future. Boy I felt like I was in the special forces or something and I was going undercover. Their building was way out in the middle of nowhere. They tried their best to put it as far from anything as possible. My lyft dropped me off and I walked in the lobby. Of course I still had my backpack with me like a total weirdo. Who brings their luggage to a work meeting. Michael and this guy David came out to meet me and we started talking. I swear I should have gotten an Oscar for that performance. I bet they actually believed I worked for the company. The thing is these guys were about the nicest guys in the world. And thankfully I know a thing or two about this Aputure company, probably because I worked for them for about 14 years. Michael asked what my position was at the company and I had to come up with something real clever. I said probably the stupidest thing ever. I said I was Bryan’s assistant. Can you believe that? I said I help find people for Bryan to talk to, and I said I only work part time in case he figured out I couldn’t possibly do that for a job. I made sure to say a lot of fancy words and say we’d be in touch with him. I swear I should get an Oscar or something. Then he offered to give me a tour of the building. Boy, that place was probably the wildest place in Texas. They were using robots to build other robots. I swear they were. And the craziest part? Some of the robots are made to sharpen knives. I guess people get messed up hands from having to sharpen knives all day. Like at meat factories. So these robots do it for them. Sounds like a bad idea to me, but like I said no one asks for my opinion on anything. When I was leaving they asked if I was going to be in Austin all week. I said I was actually leaving that day. I couldn’t lie about everything. That’s rule number one about lying. They probably thought I was the poorest person in the world. They asked when I was leaving and I said that night. And then I said I was taking a bus. I didn’t have to add the part about the bus. Boy, they probably thought I was so poor.
Michael went home and I called another lyft. This time the guy wanted to chat it up with me, but his voice was so soft I couldn’t hardly hear a word he said. I kept asking him to repeat himself and all. It made me feel depressed as hell, that I couldn’t hear him too well. And it didn’t help that he was asking what I was in Austin for, and I had to lie to him too. I told him I was on a work trip and all. He tried to ask me about work but the guy had never heard of a movie before I bet. I had a hard time explaining lighting and robots to him. Not to be mean, I’m not too good at talking to people who don’t know what I’m talking about. And I don’t want to talk dumb like I’m talking to some kid. The whole thing made me pretty sad if you want to know the truth. Then he left me alone and I started thinking about how tired I was. Boy was I getting sleepy. And then I started thinking about how lonely I was. I was so lonely I probably could have cried. I even started imagining I was some kid in the back seat, and I was telling my mom I didn’t want to get out of the car. Don’t make me get out of the car. Like all I wanted to do was be a kid again and not have to get out of the car. But I knew I couldn’t do that. All I wanted was to go back to my hotel and lay down. Only thing is I didn’t have a hotel, because I wasn’t actually on a work trip, I was only faking it. That made me sore as hell. I thought about giving old Saz Dotson another buzz. I thought maybe what I’d do was I’d go get some food, and then I’d close my eyes for a second. Then maybe I’d go hang out at a bar until my bus. I’d be one of those sad sacks just leaning over the table, looking at a picture of a girl from back home. Man those guys are always trying to show you the picture of the girl they have. Saddest guys in the world, showing pictures of girls and all. And the pictures are always so old. And the girl is always dressed real proper, like a school picture. At least that’s what you see in all the old movies. No one has pictures in their wallets anymore. It’s a damn shame but at least that means no one is making me look at them when they get all sad.
The driver dropped me off at Terry Black’s. I didn’t mention it but Michael told me I should check out this place Terry Black’s. He said I had to get BBQ somewhere while I was there. He was almost talking as if I didn’t have a choice. You know how people are always giving you suggestions but they feel more like demands. Anyway, I had the driver drop me off at this Terry Black’s place. What Michael didn’t tell me was that Terry Black’s BBQ was about the most expensive BBQ in the whole world. I paid about 57 bucks for some meat and a blackberry cider. It didn’t even look like that much food. The worst thing about expensive restaurants is everyone looking at you like you’re broke. They’re always asking you if you want more food. More sides or drinks and all sorts of stuff. But when you say no, they always ask if you’re sure. You sure? That’s what they always say. And they give you that look that’s like they wouldn’t have even let you in there if they knew you weren’t going to get any damn sides. Anyway, I asked for about a half pound of these ribs. They do it by weight at Terry Black’s. The guy working there looked at me like he’d never even heard of someone ordering just a half pound of ribs before. And it still cost me 57 bucks. I swear everyone in Austin is a damn millionaire. Sure I got some other stuff too. I got some of that beef brisket that everyone’s losing their minds over. The thing that really depressed the hell out of me though, was when that same guy working there let me pay about a fortune for that meat, and then he gave me a little bit more on top. Like he was being nice and all, like he felt bad I was so broke that he gave me a little more food. That really depressed the hell out of me. You know the funniest thing? When I sat down outside to eat the stuff, it was just about the best food I ever ate in my whole life. As far as meat goes at least. Terry Black sure knows a thing or two about cooking meat. Thing is you’d have to be a millionaire to find out. About as soon as I sat down I noticed these phonies in the park across the street playing volleyball. I love playing volleyball, I really do. I figured maybe I’d go over there after I eat and see if they needed an extra player or something. I have this fantasy wherever I go that I’m gonna join a group playing volleyball and just have a good time. Not so much to make friends. I just like playing the game if I’m being honest. The thing is I never do it. There’s always something that keeps me from doing it. I watched them play for a minute, and decided that they might actually be pretty good at the game. I’m not too bad myself, but these guys looked pretty good. And I knew a bunch of meat in my gut wasn’t going to make me a better player or nothing. Then I felt a little sore that I didn’t see them over there a little sooner. I wasn’t even that hungry if I’m telling the truth, and I probably could have tried to at least play a little volleyball before I got dinner. So instead of getting all sore about it I just decided to enjoy this meat I was eating. Boy was it some good food. I was also drinking this cider I told you about, and I swear I was already starting to feel something from it. Not too buzzed or anything, just feeling a little different than normal. I figured I’d shoot the shit with old Saz Dotson as long as I was just sitting there. I don’t even remember what we talked about if I’m being honest. If I remember right I think she was taking a nap or something. I think she said something about cuddling or whatever. And boy I wanted to too. Nothing weird just cuddling up next to a girl sounded just fine to me. Problem was there was about a million miles between us. So what I figured I’d do was I’d go over to the park and maybe close my eyes for a second. Or at least watch the phonies play volleyball. I actually had some food left over too. So I wrapped it up in a paper towel and threw it in my backpack.
I walked across the street and headed to the park. It was still pretty warm and the sun had a ways to go before it set all the way. I had my backpack with me then and it sure was heavy. For a second I got a little sore about the whole dry cleaner closing at 5pm instead of 7pm thing. It was about 6:45pm then and I could have waited until now to go grab it. But I decided not to worry about it. I was also getting a little sore about packing so many damn clothes. I sat there in the park for a couple minutes. Until the ants started biting at me again. Those ants were always biting you in the parks if you stopped for more than five seconds. What made the whole thing worse was to my left was a couple of kids about my age cuddling on a blanket on the grass. I’m not saying I was jealous or anything, but it didn’t make me feel too cheery either if I’m telling the truth. I was starting to get real bored and honestly pretty lonely too. I almost stopped having such a fun time I was getting so sad. I went and laid down on a sidewalk in the park, just to get away from the ants. After a couple minutes of that I figured I may as well find another bike and cruise around. The thing was I was waiting for the sun to go down, because I heard that bats come out of the bridge on Congress about the time the sun goes down. I figured I’d ride around a little until the bats came out.
The first bike I found didn’t have any charge in the battery, so I tried riding it to the closest station and seeing if I’d have better luck there. That station didn’t have any charged either. You can look on this app that goes with the bikes, and it tells you where the charged ones are. The only thing is that the charged ones were all pretty far down the road. I didn’t have much choice so I started off in that direction. I tell you what, the bikes are a lot harder to ride without the electric motor, and my backpack wasn’t doing me any favors either. After a couple blocks, I started noticing that all the people on the sidewalk going my direction were pretty young. I must have been so depressed I thought I’d have a chance at making some friends or something, so I kept heading in that direction. It didn’t hurt that the bikes were that way too. Usually I stay away from most young people my age. They’re usually all phonies anyway. But I must have been pretty depressed or something because I kept following them. About half the whole city was on this sidewalk heading towards the park. I figured I’d follow them and see what all the commotion was about. I found a bike with a motor and I biked down the road to the park. I kept passing these places that looked like pretty nice restaurants. At least nice places to sit and have a cocktail. They all had food trucks out front. I even passed another food truck camp like the one I stopped at before. I swear every place in Austin has those food trucks out front. Most of them don’t even go anywhere. What’s the point of having a kitchen on wheels if you don’t use the wheels. I just kept following that sea of young people walking down the street, and I wasn’t even all that surprised when I found out they were all headed to that concert I saw them setting up before.
Boy I swear the whole city was at this damn concert. I always wanted to go to a music festival, and I really wanted to go to this one, seeing as I was already there and all. The thing is, it’s a pretty depressing place to be by yourself. And I wasn’t about to make any friends or nothing, especially with this giant backpack on. Plus I had to keep an eye on my bike so no one got any ideas. I was hanging around this tent, looking like I was supposed to be there or something. I noticed they had a little trailer for blood donations. I figured I was due for another blood donation, I actually have to get them quite often if I’m telling the truth, and I wasn’t doing much anyway. Plus I thought maybe I’d be a funny story. I don’t know, I swear half the stuff I do is just to have some damn story. I asked the girl if they were taking donations and she said they weren’t today, but I could make an appointment. I didn’t want to break her heart or anything, so I said I’d check it out. Then she went over and grabbed the brochure and brought it over to me. I swear she must have had some quota or something. I said thanks but I’m only in town today. She didn’t seem too sore about it though, she just said ok and got out of my hair. About then I got a buzz from my friend Cameron from back in California. Except he’s living in Michigan now studying to be a doctor. He was just calling to say hi. I’ll be honest I love it when people just call to say hi. He heard that I had stayed with Alexa and Alex that morning and seeing as they’re friends with his girl, he wanted to see how it went. I guess he didn’t know they were a bunch of phonies, so I made sure to let him know. Then I went and told him about my whole day, at least the good parts. Cameron’s always so surprised when you tell him about your day, like he’s reading the best book he’s ever read. I told him he could come with me next time. He said he was gonna be in California in a couple weeks. I told him I’d be sure to give him a buzz when I could. The sun was getting pretty low on the hills, and it was just about the most beautiful thing I ever saw.
The band started playing this music I’d never heard before, with all these strange instruments and drums or water. I figured it wouldn’t be half bad to dance to if I wasn’t so damn lonely. Old Saz Dotson isn’t the best dancer in the world by any means, but she is just about the most fun to dance with. Except most of the time she’s just looking at me dancing. I’m no professional either but I really do like to dance. Nothing crazy, just moving my body in funny ways. That’s all dancing is at the end of the day, moving your body in funny ways. I can’t stand people who think they’re lousy dancers. Those people are just too afraid to move their bodies in funny ways. Phonies the whole lot of them. Anyway, I kinda wished old Saz Dotson was there so we could at least do a little dancing. Even if she was just gonna watch me most of the time. It’s better to have someone there just watching you than be dancing alone if you know what I mean. Seeing people dance alone is about the saddest thing in the world.
I rode my bike back along the walking path heading upstream. I figured I’d cross over the bridge on the other side of the park and then head back to Congress to see those bats everyone’s talking about. Thing is, I was running out of time on my bike. You see they only give you those bikes for about an hour at a time before they charge you. I found a bike station and docked my bike there for a second before I took it out again. That way I had a whole hour to go see those bats and find a place to grab a cocktail. By now the sun was pretty much down behind those hills, and the sky was covered in pink. I go crazy for those pink sunsets. I stopped on the bridge and just stood there looking out at the pink sky. It was reflecting on the river and it really made me feel good if I’m telling you the truth. I stood there for a couple minutes just looking at the thing. Most people try to take pictures of the sunet. Most people who even care about the sunset that is. A lot of people don’t even care. But the thing about taking pictures of the sunset is that it’s never as good as the real thing. Then you waste all your time taking the damn picture that you forget what it looked like for real, and all you have to remember it with is this damn picture. Anyway, I try to just look at it for a minute, to remember it you know. Sure I took a picture too, but I took one real quick and then went back to just looking. Boy it was a nice sunset over the river. I kept riding down the path but the thing is I’m crazy. I can’t sit still if I know there’s a pink sky I’m not looking at. I swear I was riding that bike while looking back over my shoulder at the sky half the time. Wasn’t even looking where I was going practically. Luckily for me everyone was at that damn concert and there were hardly any cars on the road. After a couple minutes the pink all disappeared. There’s nothing sadder than a sunset after the pink all disappears. The clouds are still there but they look all gray and lifeless, sorta like someone just sucked all the life out of them. That was fine with me though, I needed to start looking where I was going eventually.
I started looking through the trees at the people who were still on the lake. A couple of them were on those paddle boards that look like surfboards but you stand up on them. Boy it looked like they were having the time of their lives. The river was pretty empty now, not a lot of people floating down it. I kept passing these couples getting off their paddle boards and walking to their cars. They were all smiling and laughing like it was the best day they ever had. It made me feel a little more lonely if I’m telling the truth. I saw this one couple out on the water still. They were on this paddle board but they were sitting on it. It looked like they were even having some sort of picnic out on the river. I thought that was just about the most romantic thing I ever saw. Or at least in the top five. Then I tried to think of what else I would put in the top five most romantic things ever, but I couldn’t really think of anything. All I was thinking about was that couple on the paddle boat. I wonder if the bugs are annoying out there. Sometimes something looks real nice from a distance but if you were actually doing it it’s not all that nice. I was kinda wondering if this was one of those things. I wouldn’t have minded finding out, if you know what I mean.
It took me about 15 more minutes of riding on that walking path before I got to Congress. Congress is the name of the road that the bridge is on. I guess there’s about a million bats that live in that bridge. Why they don’t live in the other bridges is a mystery to me. They tried to put up all these signs around the bridge to educate people, but it was so dark I didn’t bother reading any of them. The thing about bats is they fly around eating bugs all night, so if you get the timing just right you can kind of see them during dusk when it’s night time to a bat but you can still see a little. I parked my bike right under the bridge and just watched for a minute. I saw a couple bats flying out over the river. They were real small but I could still see them. I swear one flew right by my head. People were lined up all up and down the bridge just looking. I heard one of them say that there’s usually more bats. I can’t stand people who say stuff like that. They’re basically saying they’re disappointed with the amount of bats. I’d be disappointed too if all the bats disappeared, but they didn’t all disappear. I wondered how many bats you have to see before you get disappointed by a couple bats instead of a thousand. I was just happy to see any bats, that’s what I’m trying to say. Some people get too used to the bats, so when they see them it’s just normal or whatever. I feel bad for those people. Takes the fun right out of the whole thing. Anyway, I watched the bats for a few minutes and then I headed out. Mostly because my phone was about to croak any second. If I’m being honest that made me sweat a little because I needed my phone to get on that bus I keep telling you about. I figured I could make it if I was desperate, conserving energy and all, but I really didn’t want to risk it.
I rode my bike back up the hill to downtown. It was getting pretty dark on that old walking path. There weren’t a lot of lights on the path. My bike had a headlight but it wasn’t all that strong. Anyway, I was happy to get off that walking path. About the time I got on the main road again I was starting to think I might have a flat tire on my bike. I always feel pretty stupid riding around on a flat time. I keep thinking someone’s going to stop me and tell me I have a flat, and then I would tell them I know I have a flat but thank you. I’m always telling people I already know something if they tell me. I guess I think that makes me less stupid if I already know something. The good thing was I was only a few more blocks from a station on Red River and 8th. When I was getting close I sort of started looking into the bars I was passing. One caught my eye a little. It looked like a nice place to sit and have a cocktail. Then the spot right next to that one caught my eye too but a little more than the first one. The thing I can’t stand about bars these days is that sometimes they’re not even that great of a place to just sit and have a cocktail. They’re always playing some loud music and trying to get people to dance or whatever. And the music’s so loud you can’t hardly think, or talk to someone if you came with someone to talk to. Anyway, these spots looked like nice places to sit and have a cocktail.
I parked my bike and walked a little ways back to the second bar I told you about. I don’t even know what the place was called. It doesn’t really matter what a place is called most of the time. The thing about bars is they all got the same stuff, so at the end of the day they’re all kind of the same in a way. This guy playing pool by the door said hi to me as I walked in. For a second I thought there was gonna be trouble or something, he didn’t look overly friendly, but I think he was just a little thrown off my bag. I’m not gonna lie, I probably looked a little homeless. I threw my backpack in the corner and sort of looked around for a place to charge my phone. There was this one outlet practically hanging out of the wall. It was one of those outlets with four plugs. One plug had a fan in it, one had some corny christmas lights, and one was basically broken. I plugged my phone charger into the last one and it worked just fine. I didn’t want anyone to think I was stealing power or anything though, so I made it quick and sort of hid my phone under the bag. Then I went over to the bar and sat down. I ordered a cider and a water. Boy I was getting pretty thirsty. The cider they had was the same one from old Terry Black’s. That was fine with me, I happened to think that one was pretty good. I’m not gonna lie that water was real nice too, especially after riding that bike all over town. I left the tab open and went and enjoyed my drinks in the corner. I wasn’t trying to make any friends or nothing. I figured I had about an hour before I had to get going to catch that bus. About halfway through my cider that guy from before came up to me, the one playing pool. He said his name was Danny and asked if I wanted to play him at pool. I thought about it for a minute and he said he wasn’t trying to win any money off me he just wanted to play. There was no way in hell I was going to play someone for money, so I told him don’t worry about it. I figured I wasn’t doing anything else so I said I’d play a game with him. When I got up he looked at my bag. He asked if I was backpacking. People who don’t know anything about backpacking always ask if you’re backpacking. They think every backpack that’s a little bigger than normal is a backpacking backpack. In his defense it was a backpacking backpack, but only about 30 years old. I got it from my old man maybe 10 years ago. Anyway, I told him sort of. I told him I was just passing through town, that I was catching a bus that night. I suppose in a way I was backpacking a little.
We went over to the pool table and he asked me how I like to play. I wasn’t going to look like an idiot trying to remember all the rules, so I just told him to tell me how he plays. I figured that would be easier for everyone. The truth is I’m really not all that good at pool. When I was a kid I used to play all the time. My old friend Clayton Hutchinson had a table at his house and we would play pretty often actually. And then when we went to camps or something and they had a pool table, we’d play it there. The thing is we never actually learned how to play. I mean the rules are pretty simple, but we never learned how to be a pro or anything. That was fine with me, I wasn’t trying to go pro anytime soon. What I’m trying to say is I was never that good at the game, but I used to be a little better. Not because I wanted to, but just because I used to play it more often. There are a lot of games that you only get good at because you play them a lot. Anyway, he told me some of his rules and they all sounded fine to me. He asked if I wanted to break. I said sure. People who play pool are always asking if you want to break. It’s probably a strategy or something they teach you in pool school. I broke the thing or whatever, but I didn’t sink nothing. He said something like I didn’t hit it hard enough. He said he’d do me a favor and he sort of broke the thing again. But this time he sunk one or two. I guess now he was solids or whatever, and I tell you what this guy went and sunk about 15 balls right off the bat. I knew he was probably pretty decent at the game, I didn’t care too much. The thing is he never asked me how good I was. There’s four things that happen when you’re playing against someone who’s not as good as you and you didn’t know it. The first thing that happens is you start to feel pretty good. You think you’re at least a little better than the guy, and you have a good chance of winning the game. Boy this guy was feeling great. He was feeling so great he started singing along to the song that was playing. Just a couple words from the song. That about killed me. Boy was he feeling great. The second thing that happens is you realize you might be a lot better than the guy, and it becomes a little less fun. You’re still feeling good, but you sort of wish you were having more of a challenge. So pretty soon he had about one ball left and I hadn’t even sunk anything. I didn’t care though. I was only playing to pass the time, I know I’m a lousy player. I just kept thinking about how this guy didn’t even ask if I was good, he just wanted more people to play against. Maybe he just wanted to say he beat everyone in the whole bar that night. I didn’t care too much though. Then the third thing that happens is you feel like you should maybe teach the guy a thing or two. Seeing as he’s actually pretty bad at the game. So this guy starts trying to teach me how to play pool. That makes me sore as well whenever someone does that. They always start with something like saying hey do you want some advice. They’re always asking if you want some advice. Thing is you can’t say no or they’ll keep asking. I said I was fine, and then went and hit the ball like an idiot. I didn’t want to seem angry, most people get angry when you ask if they want advice. I just wanted to be left alone. So then the guy decides I want advice anyway, and starts showing me how to hold the stick thing. He even said this corny line. He said I know the game better than I can play it. Like he was my coach or something. Boy that made me pretty sore. I didn’t want him to know I was sore, so I let him show me a thing or two. These pool coaches always think there’s gonna be some immediate improvement after their lesson. I still played like an idiot. I tried his secret method a couple times, to show him I wasn’t too sore. But I went back to playing like an idiot just so he knew I was still my own person or whatever. I didn’t much care for the whole situation. Then the fourth thing that happens when you’re playing against someone who’s not as good as you is you just want the whole thing to be over with. Boy this guy was ready for the game to be over. Once the guy finds out you’re not at his level, and you don’t want to be his disciple or whatever, he practically never wants to see you again. I don’t know how you keep score in pool but I think the score was about 1 to 8. One thing I forgot to mention is Danny told me early on that pool was just his latest hobby. Like he was on his way to mastering every sport or something. He said he started with skating. Like roller skating. Boy I should have known from the beginning I wasn’t going to like him once he said he used to roller skate. I bet he wasn’t half bad at it either.
I went back to my table and pretty much went right back to what I was doing before Danny bothered me. Luckily he found some old drunk guy to play pool with and I heard them arguing about the rules for a minute. People like Danny love finding people to argue about the rules with. I was feeling like getting a little buzzed if I’m being honest, so I went up and ordered another water and an old fashioned. I didn’t want to drink too much sugar to tell you the truth, so I didn’t get another cider. When I get buzzed off of sugar stuff I don’t sleep too well. So I got this old fashioned that was from a mix but it wasn’t half bad. I went back to my table and drank that until it was time for me to go.
When I went out to grab a bike, the only ones around weren’t all that charged. All of them except that one with the flat tire, that one was still there. So I walked up Red River to 10th or something and found some more bikes. I hopped on one and started heading to the bus station. Sometimes I like to memorize the cross streets of the place I’m headed so I don’t have to use a map. If one of them is a number it’s usually not hard to find. This one was 5th and Onion. It took me a second because usually the street is called Union, and I only think it’s called Onion. But this time it actually was called Onion. The thing is, leaving downtown the motor on the bike wasn’t working. You’d turn on the motor with this button and it would turn back off in about two seconds. So I was turning on that motor as much as I could to get a little boost every couple seconds. I don’t know why but I was actually having fun with it. Like I was getting mad at the bike but I felt funny getting mad at something like a bike. I don’t know, I was just trying to have a good time. I thought my bike was broken but as soon as I left downtown it started working normal again. I figured it must have been a dead zone after a certain time.
I got to the bus station but didn’t see any buses. I’m always going to the wrong address for things so I figured I was just at the wrong address. Thing is I wasn’t sweating it too much because I was early to get to the bus station. And my bike was working now so I felt pretty good. I looked up the address and it was another couple miles outside of town. It was about a 15 minute ride but I still had about 30 minutes or so before the bus went and left me. Either way I wasn’t going to take my time getting there. Lucky for me it was about a straight shot, just following the train tracks, plus it was getting pretty late and there weren’t many cars on the road. I put the address in my phone just so I didn’t pass it. I didn’t want to take any chances this close to when the bus was leaving. Then I started off down the train tracks. I’m not gonna lie, I was having a pretty great time. Sure I probably looked like a homeless person out that late on a bike with my big old bag on my back, but I wasn’t caring too much. All I could think of was how nice of a spot Austin was. Even out here by the train tracks there were some pretty nice spots. All the spots in Austin have a ton of space to sit outside and eat, and they all have those corny string lights above the tables. Doesn’t hurt that the weather is so nice all night in the summer. Boy I could have just stayed out all night it was so nice.
